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Thinking Outloud

lunes, 4 de enero de 2010


Enviado por Rigo a través de Google Reader:


vía adventscribing de Matt el 19/12/09

I was offered a job promotion and raise for the third time in two weeks. This last offer has me thinking I'd be a fool to go home when I can stay and save enough in six months that would take me years to do back home. So, I am confronted with a choice. I'm reminded of the scene in "The Lord of the Rings" where they are lost in the dark caves of Moria and come to a fork in the road. They stand in front of three doors. Which is the right door to choose? In the end the choice is made to go through the middle door because air smells fresher that way.

But what if the "life is a road" analogy is all wrong. What if life isn't a set path that we must discover but instead we must create every instant. Maybe it isn't about finding the path but making the path.

Personal responsibility should surely factor in somewhere. I have a responsibility to my family, to my own community, to my boss, and to myself. In a lot of ways I feel like I should be giving back to my parents, settling down, and letting them enjoy grand kids. I should be visiting my grandparents in their final years, comforting them and gleaning wisdom before they pass away.

I have a responsibility to my own home. I see so much that needs to be done in my own community. I should be working to better it.

At the same time, my boss has invested in me. She has trusted and believed in me. I am so thankful for her. I know that if I leave now it will put the company in a hard spot. Surely I should give her a little more time for her investment to pay off.

And lastly, I have a responsibility to myself. I know I am still young, but with thirty right around the corner, I'm not getting any younger. I for the first time in my life feel useful and strong and needed, like I am actually making a difference. However if I give and give with out receiving, I'll dry up. I need someone to give back to me. And finding those kinds of people, the kind I can have deep meaningful conversations with is hard here in Pohang because I'm an alien that can't speak the language.

Should I use reason or intuition in decision making? Is it wise to turn to examples from literature and scripture? Do I flip a coin? I pray but how can I be certain of God's voice?

So yeah, I am faced with a tough choice. Or is it? Another trip around the sun in Korea or a long awaited trip home? I'll sleep on it.


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